so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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