So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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