Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize