Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
