come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
