I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
