im about as happy as oj after his trial
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This couple is walking their pig around campus
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
