i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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