is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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