I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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