She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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