How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize