why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
