whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
