Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
