he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
