she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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