i just google imaged poop.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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