After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
