My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
