ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
