I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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