she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
