I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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