new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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