there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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