just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
