A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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