I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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