he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
