trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
