I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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