honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize