Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You made out with two different species that night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
