no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
