I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize