Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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