Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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