I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
