in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
