I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
