man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were trust falling into bushes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
