There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize