Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
