i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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