I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
