And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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