two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
