will power is for people who don't want to get laid
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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