I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Two words: nipple clamps
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