I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
