Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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