Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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