capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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