I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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