cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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