I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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