We're facebook friends in real life
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Your dad touched me again.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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