nut hugger
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize