so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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