What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
