no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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