Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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