dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
