GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
