I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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