I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
