you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
