She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
