There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
