You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
